A Short Film “Wishful Thinking”
by Angelina Oliva
Coming out is a pivotal moment in any queer person’s life. Being your authentic self can be scary. There are pressures from society, family, and friends.
“Coming out is a heavy thing for a lot of queer people, and I think National Coming Out Day raises awareness for the community and for different experiences that people have coming out,” Alexander Ainsworth, Pride Center student assistant, said. “It should be a day of acceptance and of celebration as well.”
National Coming Out Day can be a platform for people to get inspired and to share their true selves with others. It may also be a day for people who are already out to reminisce on their coming out journey. It can also be a day for people outside of the queer community to be ready for a call from someone who wants to express their true identity.
“Somebody might call you on the 11th,” Anna Villnueve, an English professor, said. Villnueve is a lesbian professor that teaches classes such as queer literature. She reminds her students that this day can be more than just a person coming out, it can be a day for people to reach out and find their safety net.
This National Coming Out Day, Citrus College’s Pride Center welcomed Rodrigo Carvalhedo, the writer and director of the short film “Wishful Thinking.”
“It’s ‘Groundhog’s Day’ but gay,” Carvaheldo said, describing his film.
The story follows Carvalhedo on his birthday on this Groundhog Day-type adventure. His character wants to be open about his relationship with his boyfriend Chris. His boyfriend in the film is Carvalhedo’s real-life partner, Christian Kolb. Carvalhedo is in a constant battle between two different worlds, the liberal landscape of L.A. versus the more conservative ideas of Brazil. He has pressure from his friends and partner to come out. Anxieties about what his family will think weigh on him. Carvalhedo’s character then goes through all the things that could go wrong. Despite all his spiraling thoughts, he gains the courage to come out to his family. The true intention Carvalhedo had in creating this film was to come out to his real life family. In the end of the film, Carvalhedo breaks the fourth wall to speak to his family directly.
“It’s me talking to my family,” Carvalhedo said. The speech at the end of the film was the most challenging part of the whole film because he finally shared his authentic self with the people he loves. Although filming that scene was tough he felt it was very rewarding. During the credits, we see his family’s raw reaction to him coming out. This was a huge risk since he was unsure of what they would feel. Once his family watched this moment, they told him that they were supportive and that they loved him no matter what.
“We still have a lot of places that are not as supportive,” Carvalhedo said. “We need more and more places that are more embracing and more supportive.” He fortunately had a positive experience with his coming out story, but not everyone has that same support system.
Queer people often face discrimination for their sexual identity. They can be discriminated against in public places, school, and/or places of work. They may also be shunned by their own family and friends. This can lead to isolation and mental illness.
According to the Trevor Project, “39% of LGBTQ+ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year. More than 1 in 10 (12%) LGBTQ+ young people attempted suicide in the past year.” Over 18,000 LGBTQ+ young people ranging from the age of 13 to 24 were surveyed in 2024.
We need places that foster support for queer youth. A place like Citrus College’s Pride Center offers a safe place for students in the LGBTQ+ community.
“I think that having people that you know you can connect with and talk to and feel safe around is necessary,” Anastasia Arnestad, the Pride Center coordinator, said. “I think our community in particular, is really high risk as far as suicide and self-harm is concerned”
The Pride Center has been open for two years. They provide resources for students such as snacks, personal protection equipment, condoms, personal supply kits, and school supplies. Having resources easily accessible is vital for students.
“Having these spaces is necessary,” Arnestad said. “I think it not only can be a happy and fun, safe space, but it saves lives.”
This is also a place to find new friends who share similar experiences.
“I remember I used to watch all these short films about coming out stories,” Ainsworth said. “It gave me a look into what life could be like for me.” Ainsworth came out to his parents as bisexual when he was around 13. His family felt that he was too young to make this decision. “It’s not a decision. It’s just who I am,” Ainsworth said. A couple of years later, Ainsworth came out as a transgender man. His family initially reacted with opposition. “I couldn’t be myself and I felt like I was living a lie in front of everyone,” Ainsworth said.
This is a sentiment that many members of the queer community could relate to. Ainsworth had a low moment for his mental health and his family saw the impact that this had on his life. They listened to what he had to say and became supportive of him. He is now living life fully out of the closet and is happy as ever. He now has the support from friends he made at the Pride Center.
Coming out stories can be inspirational for young people and help motivate them to be who they truly are. “Wishful Thinking” showed Carvalhedo’s journey coming out to his parents. Carvaheldo writes in the credits that this film is “a love letter to all those on their journey to find their authentic selves.”
National Coming Out Day may be marked on the calendar one day out of the year, but for many queer people coming out is not a one-time experience. It may not be to only one person you’re coming out to.
The phrase “coming out” makes it seem as if people are hiding a part of themselves, and are awaiting permission from others. There is a new term that is starting to surface. Rather than us calling it “coming out” we should call it “inviting in.”
According to the Human Rights Campaign, “When publicly identifying as LGBTQ+, you are inviting people into a part of your life that should be protected and celebrated.”
Adopting this new term allows you to take ownership of a queer person’s narrative. People who identify as LGBTQ+ should be able to choose who they let into their lives.
“All I can do is build a bridge, I can’t force anyone to cross it,” Carvalhedo said.
You are the only person who can invite people into your circle of trust and acceptance. You can’t force anyone into it, you can only show them the way. Being your authentic self is all that truly matters.
